Slow down, you move too fast . . . you got to make the morning last . . . just kickin’ down the cobble stones . . . lookin’ for fun and feelin’ groovy . . . Simon and Garfunkle

How often do you feel groovy just walking down the street or getting to where you need to go? If you’re anything like me, you rarely even think of how you feel because you’re too busy thinking about what you have to do. I barely saw the world around me because I was moving so fast that my mind was always on the destination instead of the drive. I never put my foot on the break.

Full speed ahead may be an engine of productivity but taking even a minute to relax and enjoy the world around you is the fuel that feeds the soul. You don’t have to be on a snow capped mountain to stop and appreciate the beauty of life. There are “wow” moments and hidden treasures everywhere. You just have to slow down long enough to see them.

It happened for me when I started playing walking games with my son; kind of like the car games we would play as kids to make the time go by (now kids just watch videos in the car!). Little kids walk painfully slow which forces you to slow down. I thought the games would make the walk seem faster for me and be educational for my son but the opposite turned out to be true. I was the one getting the education and my son was the one passing the time.

It started by picking a different color for each day. During our walks, we had to call out everything we saw in that color. Kids have a fine radar for noticing things that adults take for granted and generally overlook entirely. Kids see things that we are closed off to and they are curious about everything. With the help of my son, I began to see things that I never noticed before and in the magic of the moment, my world went from flat to 3 dimensional, from grayscale to high definition color.

When my son picked purple, I didn’t think we would find much if anything, but we found a ton of stuff . . . A purple bike, a purple flower, the color purple in a flag, a purple flyer on a sign post . . . I saw incredible detail and I saw the picturesque landscape of the neighborhood I lived in for 10 years but never fully appreciated or realized. We had so much fun playing the color game that we switched it up and added different games to play along the way. Each day presented a new discovery and what were once tedious walks became whimsical adventures.  What hidden treasures will you discover today?

In addition to anything super hero or hockey related, my 5 year old son loves to sing, dance and skip. We skip a lot, especially when I need him to move quickly! But mostly, we skip because it makes us feel good. Each morning, on our way to school, we pass a well-dressed business woman, briefcase in hand, on her way to work. At first, we simply noticed each other with a friendly nod but then one day something really great happened. As she was walking up the street she must have noticed my son skipping. When she got to us, she started skipping and her whole face was lit up by her smile. She was having fun and I felt lucky to be a part of it. In a place like New York City where everything seems so serious and cynical all the time, it was amazing to see my son’s energy become a boomerang for fun and laughter in such an unexpected and unconventional way. Now, we always give a big hello to “our lady” and her smile is a constant reminder that magic can be found in a moment and a moment can truly make your day.

Snapshots are mental pictures of experiences that make you feel good. They become the happy memories that leave an imprint and can instantly make you feel lucky in life. If you can take and file even one snapshot a day, then you are truly gifted with a beautiful life. When you provide the snapshot for someone else, you become part of something even bigger. What snapshot will you take today? What snapshot will you give to someone else?

We all share common threads but our lives are so individual. The 10 Relax. Set. Go. Rules to Relish provide the road map; you design the destination that defines your personal success.  You will see maximum results with little effort when you give yourself a break, direct your positive energy and create a desired outcome.  Remember, they are rules to relish, not to restrict.  So take a deep breath, have fun and Relax. Set. Go.

1. Embrace the Reason To Relax.
TIP: The reason to relax and pause may be obvious but by telling yourself why you need it, you not only give yourself permission to take a break, you set the stage for success.

2. Let the force be with you.
TIP: Identifying your personal energy and whether it needs to be redirected to the positive will validate where you need to go and empower you to get there.

3. Stop what you are doing. Really stop.
TIP: Find a focal point or close your eyes to keep yourself free from distraction. This will help to relax your mind and ease the tension. It only takes a minute to relax and pause, so please take the time. If you can’t physically stop, you can still actively pause. External motion doesn’t have to hinder internal process.

4. Breathe slowly and deeply.
TIP: Focused breathing will get you centered and help you stay that way. Imagine that you are cleansing your body by breathing in pure oxygen and breathing out the toxins. Your heart rate will seem to slow down and you will experience a significant sense of balance and renewal.

5. Turn off the noise in your mind.
TIP: Slow your thoughts so that you decide which come in, which stay, and which go out. The light switch visual always helps to turn off the negative chatter and to turn on the positive narrative.

6. Pump up your personal energy.
TIP: Negative energy has no place in your world. Push it out and snap into a positive state. Then pump some power into the positive. Heightened energy doesn’t mean hyper energy. It is focused, clear and strong, just like you.

7. Talk to yourself.
TIP: Write your narrative. This is the time for strong affirmations and enthusiastic pep talks that have a well defined outcome. Be the king of the world, control the chaos, laugh at adversity, find peace and tranquility, embrace everything good. Always create an unwavering and optimistic success story in which your energy and actions are met with positive results.

8. Get into the groove.
TIP: You will feel the shift in your energy and attitude. You will realize how truly great you can feel in the matter of a minute. Relish it. Surround yourself in it and share it with the universe.

9. Mark it and keep it in motion.

TIP: Make your transformation stick with a symbolic marker. Stretch, stretch loudly, spin in your chair, clench a fist, color your energy, punch the sky or simply smile to yourself. You will stay the course long after you break the pause.

10.  Appreciate empowerment
TIP: You are entitled to an excellent life, not to a life of entitlement. Always give thanks and always be grateful for your ability to seize the best in life.

A friend of mine sent out this proverb.  I thought the message so true and relevant that I wanted to share it with you. Relax. Set Go.


One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.”

“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”  The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

The 10 Power Pauses will get you through anything and everything. They give definition to the different reasons to relax and they help to set the narrative for where you want to go. They are meant to direct, never to dictate. You may gravitate to one or all, or you may create your very own power pauses. Your personal RSG style will emerge, and that’s the point. The more RSG becomes your own, the better it will work for you. The better it works, the more you will prosper in every positive way possible.

Power Pause #1: The Stop the Madness Pause
Outcome: You’re sanity will be resurrected and restored

This pause is probably the most commonly needed and will likely be the most widely used of all the pauses. It is the fastest remedy for overload and crisis mode. It restores composure, instills harmony and puts things into proper perspective which is why it can also be described as the meditative pause. It has so many benefits and can center you even in the most critically off balance situation. If you have them, a few extra relax minutes will quadruple in value and may be needed to return to what you are doing with a clear and peaceful mindset. Remember that no matter how stressful the situation, no matter how tight the deadline, no matter how heavy the pressure, no matter how full the plate, you have the power to control the chaos and to never allow it control you. Even if it means letting go of some things, let them go. If it means compromising on others, then compromise. You can’t control everything but you can control how you see things and how you react to them. See them and react to them with positive energy and a great attitude and you will be amazed by how much you can actually manage on that very full and seemingly unmanageable plate.

Power Pause #2:  The Superpower Pause
Outcome: You’ll feel like Superman

The Superpower Pause (TSP) can change everything. It is a fear buster and an esteem builder that will take you from an “I can’t” to an “I will” attitude in an instant . . . and it will make you feel like you can do anything. There is enormous benefit to that. To start, you will see a huge difference in how you approach the world and you will feel totally empowered to go, go, go!

TSP relies heavily on all of the Relax. Set. Go. rules to relish because you want to be in a heightened state during and after the pause. It will fuel a magnetic verve and confidence so powerful that you will be excited in the face of challenge and impenetrable to the threat of fear. This is not about reckless entitlement or manic delusion; it’s about believing in yourself and breaking down any and all self imposed barriers. Once you decide to bust through the walls, nothing will hold you back.

Triumph is in the power of your narrative, your energy, and the passionate belief that anything is possible and everything is in your reach. There can be no doubt. Doubt is simply a rationalization for negativity and fear. Destroy it and be steadfast in your mission. When you need to put on the superpower suit, put it on and leave the alter ego behind!

I started using TSP before everyday things like business meetings, sales presentations, dealing with difficult clients, or whenever I wanted a particular situation to go a certain way. I had such great results that even when things didn’t go exactly as I planned, I didn’t feel the dissatisfaction I had in the past. I was able to shrug it off and to move on, confident in my position and of my future success. With TSP, failure is not an option and negativity never wins.

Power Pause #3: The Active Pause
Outcome: They’ll want to know your secret

There will be times when you can’t stop everything but still need to relax and pause in order to set and go. A paradox, yes, impossible to do; not at all. As a matter of fact, one of the best times to pause is when you are by yourself but still in motion. You can also pause around other people without anyone even noticing (I‘ve done this in meetings, waiting in line, during a conversation; pretty much whenever necessary). For the most part, this can also be described as the partial pause, fully realized. It can even become your all purpose pause. I say this because the more you realize your pause potential, the easier it will be to restore calm, reboot your energy and get excited about where you are about to go.  Think of it as Relax. Set. Go. on the go.

Power Pause #4: The Passive Pause
Outcome: Doing nothing never felt so good

This is the pause that allows you to do nothing. Stop what you’re doing, shut down the noise in your mind, shut out the noise around you and don’t do anything. Don’t think about the narrative. Don’t think about the outcome. Don’t think about anything. Just relax and give yourself a break. You not only deserve it, you need it. If you can let everything go, then you have accomplished a lot without doing anything at all! That is irony to embrace. This can also be described as the aahhhh pause because relief is exactly what it promises and delivers. Indulge yourself in some guilt free downtime and by all means, take more than a minute for this one!

Power Pause #5:  The Push Yourself Pause
Outcome: You’ll get it done and feel great doing it.

Also known as the stamina or get-up-and-do-it pause, this pause is especially useful when you are exhausted, apathetic, or personally paralyzed for any reason. It’s a procrastination buster, energy booster and rationalization reverser. It will get you out of bed and into action; give you the energy to persist and the drive to do more; unlock the safety latch and get you out of your comfort zone; turn “intend to do” or “should do” into “must do,” and . . . give you a winner’s advantage that will see you through whatever you push yourself to accomplish. Get ready to go because there is no opt out option once you put the push yourself pause in motion. Bottom line: If you have spent more time thinking about it then it would actually take to do it, then this pause is for you.

Since the push yourself pause is generally used to carry out a task that is right in front of you (the endless inbox) and even more often to tackle one or more of the monkeys on your back (projects, reports, filing taxes), strong visualization with very specific narrative gets the best result. You have to visualize yourself doing the task, very specifically and most importantly, completing the task. The narrative is what you make it but it should be meant to meet the goal with ease and enthusiasm. Once you do this, the burden will lift and so will any anxiety you have attached to the task. The push may not turn to pure pleasure but the accomplishment most certainly will.

Power Pause #6: The Put It In the Drawer Pause
Outcome: Your impulses will be proactive instead of reactive.

There may be times when you rush through an email and hit ‘send’ only to find a senseless mistake later on, or that you hit ‘reply to all’ when you meant to send to only one person. You may react to an emotionally charged situation in the heat of the moment only to regret it later or a bad decision will be made in order to close a discussion. The put it in the drawer pause is meant to give you time to think before you act and time to review your actions before there are no options. It can also be described as the patience pause because patience is precisely what it takes. So, take a deep breath and use this pause as a way to catch yourself from reacting impulsively or emotionally. The metaphor of putting it in the drawer is a useful one because you can use the imagery for just about anything. You put it on hold by putting it in the drawer. How long it stays there is up to you. It may be there for a few moments or a few days. In the end, you may not change a thing but the pause will ease the pressure of urgency and avoid potential headaches or back tracking in the long run.

Power Pause #7: The Imagination Restoration Pause
Outcome: You’ll exercise your creative muscles.

This can also be described as the open minded pause or the brilliant brainstorming pause. It is similar to a meditative pause because it’s more about relaxing and letting go than it is about setting the narrative. A constant barrage of deadlines and obligations can put anyone in a creative rut and keep them there. If you are stuck on a problem that needs an innovative solution or just want to feel the rush of new ideas, pause to clear your mind and send your intention out to the universe. The more open your mind, the more you will be able to let your imagination run wild. You may even be surprised by the original and inventive thoughts that start to dance in your head and you may even have a creative epiphany. One thing is for sure. Creativity is like a muscle that has to be exercised. The more you practice this pause, the more you will feed your imagination, inspire new ideas and get your creative juices flowing. Do this pause every day. Imagination adds wonder to life and life can be so fascinating when seen through a visionary’s eye.

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